When Inga Wismer miscarried in 2010, she was heartbroken — but ready to welcome children another way.
"I wanted to do something good and I decided to adopt," Wismer, who already had three biological children at the time, told the Daily News.
But the two children she adopted from Africa in May 2011 had significant behavioral and health issues, and reactive attachment disorder — severe difficulty bonding with their new family. Two years later, Wismer and her husband made the difficult decision to disrupt the adoption and have the children legally adopted by another family.
"I was feeling very sad and very guilty," said the 33-year-old teacher from Lebanon, N.J. "It was a hard year."
Wismer, who left her mother behind when she emigrated to the U.S. from Russia more than a decade ago, felt the void that those children had left.
She decided she wanted to adopt again, but in a different way. Instead of adopting a newborn or a foster child, Wismer adopted an embryo from a young couple and had it transplanted to her uterus, and is expecting her child on Aug. 3.
With traditional in vitro fertilization, a woman typically uses her own eggs. But Wismer didn't want to use her own eggs — or her husband's sperm for that matter. Both of them had found out via genetic testing that they carried a mutation for cystic fibrosis.
And Wismer, a fierce believer that life begins at conception, wanted to take care of an already-created human.
"Frozen embryos are a first stage of human life as opposed to just egg or just sperm by themselves," she told the Daily News. "I believe that if they have a potential to become a full grown baby, they need to be given that chance."
Embryo adoption: The basics
Never heard of embryo adoption?
Don't worry, you're not alone — the process is a fairly recent phenomenon brought about by modern fertility treatments. It happens when a couple undergoing fertility treatment is left over with more embryos than they want or need, according to Dr. Lawrence Grunfeld, an associate clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive science at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai Hospital.
"Those embryos have various options: one would be to destroy them, another would be to donate them to stem cell research and another would be to give them to an infertile couple," he told The News.
Wisner and her husband Michael also liked that embryo adoption is considerably less expensive than traditional adoption and in vitro fertilization. Wismer's embryo adoption cost her $6,000, with half of the cost being covered by her insurance.
Conversely, traditional adoption can start at $30,000, according to Dr. Edward Nejat, a reproductive endocrinology and infertility specialist at Neway Fertility in Midtown.
For embryo adoption, the donating couple has to undergo rigorous medical testing to determine that both partners don't have any communicable diseases that could be passed on to the baby.
The recipient also has to undergo testing to ensure that she can have a healthy pregnancy. Wismer had a hysteroscopy, in which a camera scanned her uterus for any problems, plus a trial transfer without an embryo to make sure her body could handle the procedure. She also had blood work to check her hormone levels.
And beyond the scientific complexities, there are still old-fashioned human emotions at play. To that end, all parties must go through counseling to understand the magnitude of the decision. There also ethical guidelines from the American Society for Reproductive Medicine that say an embryo should not be created unless a recipient is ready to receive it.
Modern families
The practice of adopting an embryo is relatively uncommon, according to Nejat. Men and women more frequently donate sperm and eggs, respectively; it's rare that a couple will donate an already-created embryo.
"Most people that we see are interested in using their own eggs and that's almost always what we start with, but there are circumstances when using one's own eggs is not a viable option," he told the Daily News.
He said that women like that they can carry a child with embryo adoption, something "not to be underestimated."
But Wismer's husband, Michael, wasn't too keen on the idea at first.
"Initially, because we had been through such a traumatic event (with our traditional adoption), he did not want to go through another adoption," Wismer said. "(But) he realized this is what I really, really wanted to do with my life. I am very pro-life. I believe this is the right choice."
Wismer selected her embryo from the Delaware Valley Institute of Fertility & Genetics in New Jersey, choosing one from a young California military couple. The baby will most likely not look like Wismer since its DNA is from different biological parents, however, Wismer carrying the baby does mean that she could influence the baby's epigenetics — the turning on and off of certain genes in the body.
Great Expectations
After a week of hormonal pills — a shorter duration of prep than is common with typical IVF — Wismer's uterus was ready to accept an embryo.
Her implantation had to be timed according to her menstrual cycle. The embryo was defrosted, inserted into Wismer's uterus and within one week she had a positive pregnancy test — even though the odds the embryo would attach were only 50%. It was a one-shot deal — Wismer did not adopt multiple embryos because she did not want to risk having multiples. But she said if the embryo didn't take, she would just try the process again.
Now, Wismer is eight weeks along and experiencing typical pregnancy symptoms, but "as unpleasant as it is, those are actually good signs because it means everything is going OK," she said. She loves the bond that she's developing with her baby.
The adoption is closed, meaning that Wismer and her child will not have a relationship with the donating couple and will not know their identities. Though she wishes they could, the clinic does not allow it. Adoption agencies are usually more receptive to open adoptions, but come with an agency fee.
Wismer, who went through the fertility clinic directly, is not paying an agency fee.
Much to the expectant mother's relief, Wismer's fetus looked healthy during its most recent ultrasound on Dec. 5. In four months, she will find out its gender.
Wismer is sharing her story in hopes to enlighten more people about embryo adoption. She said that not many of her friends knew it even existed.
"I think it should become more popular," she said. "It gives you a chance to carry and it's a lot less expensive than traditional adoption or a surrogate. (Plus) it helps frozen babies that are just sitting there, waiting for a chance at life."
((http://www.nydailynews.com/))
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