Every parent could learn a lesson from this single gay dad

Jason and his three-year-old daughter Mia will teach you a thing or two about high expectations

Jason Guberman didn’t want to wait for 'the right guy to come along' to experience the joy of being a father.

The 40-year-old single father from New York City, took matters into his own hands and opted to start his family using a surrogate. He now has a beautiful daughter, Mia, aged three.

'I always just figured I would have children; I just saw my life that way,' he said.

'I saw it the same way I saw other parts of my life, like my career. That is, if I want it, I have to work towards it.'

Despite having problems connecting with the first agency he contacted, he was eventually able to find a surrogate match who fit all of the characteristics he was looking for.

Even though his parenting journey has only been going for about five years, starting from the initiation of the surrogacy process, Jason sees a marked difference between his expectations of parenting as opposed to the real thing.

He notes that it’s had an effect on his outlook on life: 'I try hard and my best everyday, and sometimes I come up short, and one of the biggest lessons I learned was to be okay with it.'

'A good friend, who is a very successful attorney and mother, told me that 80 percent becomes your new 100 percent and that’s okay.

'While I do have high expectations to try to be 100 percent all the time, I’ve also learned to be okay with being 80, because it allows me to be my best for both my daughter and me.'

Life in the city can bring up a variety of challenges for a single dad trying to raise a young daughter.

'I always seem to be running everywhere: whether it’s getting my daughter off to daycare, to work, to leaving work to pick her up, to running errands or even getting a workout in most mornings.

'Time is limited,' he said.

'So it’s about trying to get it all in on a daily basis while trying to figure out how to have some semblance of a social life, as well.'

Jason credits his parents (his 'biggest cheerleaders'), sisters, friends, and coworkers as being some of his biggest supporters.

Specifically, he sees the strong women in his life as inspirations to be as loving and nurturing as possible with Mia, even as he tries to balance family life with work life as a busy NYC executive.

'People ask me if it’s everything I thought it would be and I tell them no, it’s more. It’s harder than I ever thought, more frustrating, and it leaves me with more doubt – but then, there’s the good stuff.

'She brings me more joy than I ever thought possible and taught me how to love in a way that I never understood before her.'

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