Is it easy to carry a child and give him to strangers?
Surrogacy, which takes its
origins in ancient times, is a unique and only way for millions infertile
families to have own children. In some countries gestational surrogacy is
permitted by the law and is extremely popular in nowadays. In case of
gestational surrogacy healthy, strange woman carries a child for infertile
couple and baby is not genetically related to surrogate mother in this case.
Conception is conducted outside genetic mother’s body (in vitro), after which
fertilized egg is transferred into the uterus of a surrogate mother. But, there
are in the modern world cases of traditional surrogacy as well. That is when a
woman carries a child who is related to her genetically (using her eggs). This
type of surrogacy is permitted only in some countries. One surrogate mother
told how she bended to be bent on such step, what she felt during 9 months, and
whether it was easy to give baby who is partly her own.
“I am 28 years old. I live
in a small town with my family - two children, husband and his parents. I work
in a small shop as a saleswoman, my husband is a driver. Until recently, we lived
in a two-bedroom apartment with two children and elderly parents. When my
grandmother died she bequeathed me a studio apartment. So my husband and I
decided to get a separation from parents but money was tight: parents are pensioners
and as for husband’ and my salary money is often tight even for necessities of life.
I've heard about surrogacy, saw
several programs on TV and read some information in magazines. Often, when
media covers surrogacy theme, some people speak well it, others criticize such a
procedure. And I remember my thoughts concerning surrogacy - where can be the
harm in surrogacy program? It seems that everybody is happy in such case:
parents, child and surrogate mother receive all they want and need. But at that
time I have not thought about how to become a surrogate mother using my own
eggs.
When our family has faced
with a strong lack of money, I called to memory about surrogacy. I shared this
idea with my husband. At first he was strongly opposed to it. But when I
explained him all the details of surrogacy process I managed to convince him.
Relatives also understood and supported me. After that I looked into information
concerning surrogacy in the Internet resources. At long last, I found a good
clinic and went there. Visiting reproductive center I underwent all needed medical
tests, went through examinations and after that I was proposed a program on my
oocytes, as prospective mother had Rokitansky syndrome. I clearly understood
that it will not be my own child and I just will help infertile couple to
become happy parents. Moreover I could receive more money participating in traditional
motherhood program. I agreed and signed the contract. After a time doctor and
test result confirmed my pregnancy. I was happy and set myself up for a
successful pregnancy.
Of course I thought that
it’s extremely important to protect little life inside me and his health. I
also always thought about my family and how we will no longer need money and
solve all our problems after program’s end. I regularly visited clinic,
underwent necessary tests and ultrasonography. During ultrasound investigation when
I saw the baby, his tiny legs, arms, hear his heart beating my heart shrunk. I
have two own children but each time it’s like the first time. During ultrasound
when I was on the 12th week of pregnancy I started crying and I
thought that I would have to give this tiny miracle forever ... and then I will
never see him again and will not even know how he is getting on. During the
program I spoke with psychologist who helped me to cope with maternal instincts
and thoughts that this child is not mine. Sometimes I looked at my own children
and imagine a third one near them. But it was just moments of weakness. I
clearly understood who I am in this program and what my obligations are. You
just rang a bell you can’t unring! I had to think about bright future of my
children and welfare of my family, which has faced a terrible credit debt.
In maternity clinic I signed
a waiver (I agreed to give this child and had no parental
rights) and consent to record child's parents in his birth certificate
(infertile couple). At that moment I began to doubt a bit. I could not to sign
these documents and, as a result, child could stay with me because originally woman
who gave birth to him is a mother. Besides, I was an egg donor as well. But I
didn’t think about such variant. I agreed to become a surrogate mother in order
to give people opportunity to become parents and help my family financially. I
remembered words by psychologist who told me that he is not my child, I trust
him for a time as a kindergarten teacher and when time comes I have to give him
to legitimate parents.
Honestly speaking, it's not
as easy as it seems at first glance. And I thought before the program began
that all these will pass easier in psychological sense. But it's really hard,
especially when I know that this child has a piece of me. He will be somewhat similar
to me, will take over me certain character traits, etc. And I will never see, even
out of the tail of my eye, our similarities. Of course it’s better that we will
not meet with him because in such case it will be probably unbearably painful for
all. In any case, I can say with confidence that I have not regret that I was
surrogate mother for strange people. I present an incredible happiness to these
people who will be grateful to me for life. And I have helped my family and
relatives, provided own children with a bright future”.
No comments:
Post a Comment